I still remember how excited I got reading a chapter about light in my seventh standard physics book. It was about colors we see, nd their it was mentioned that if we see a red ball....than it is because that ball is absorbing all colors and reflecting just red.....nd I was like....wow...so that means that essentially we live in an invisible world which is made visible only because it's invisible objects reflects some wavelength of the light falling over them, nd yet we can never see the original object(without reflection) in our entire life. Though it was a crude imagination/interpretation of a 12 year old...but somehow it still makes sense to me even now.....we actually see only what our brain wants us to c...or the way our mind interprets the external stimulus in the form of electromagnetic signals. Same is true for everything we can ever experience in our lives....emotions,feelings,physical pain, joy, sex, objects...even other human beings...all of them are the tangible construct of our brain in form of electromagnetic signals. Similarly our language nd all the words we have come up with...like fear, bliss, cheating, love....all of them are again created by our brain to represent/express it's own interpretation of world it has created! This illusionary world has it's own set of rules...most notable among them being:- law of causality, law of attraction and law of duality....apart from thousand other rules....few of which we learn in physics while we r in school. This makes life as a thought process ...which is true...and is what maharishi raman(said to have attained enlightenment) told to his disciples.

       Now this also means that the same situation can be interpreted differently by our mind if we manipulate it a bit....that is evident when people are given anesthesia and even when their abdomen is being cut open they don't feel the pain....are just in a deep relaxing sleep...or those people who become euphoric after consuming drugs nd forget their pain in those moments of ecstasy and so on. This also shows the futility of our life(interpreted life) and our every actions and feelings/emotions...it's no more real than the second life. Essentially what I described in my journal "sense" is this interpreted life itself, and in Hindu mythology it's called maya....it's the matrix(as described in the movie matrix)....a control program biologically hardwired into our brain to create and show a physical world to human beings...to make them soooo involved in it that they don't have time or will to explore their spiritual side. Religion and media have become the most valuable sources to keep human involved in this illusionary world. I believe that there is no "god"...not @least how we are made to think of him...some sort of superhuman filled with love and tenderness for the mankind. No god come to rescue innocent children/people when they are being butchered by the terrorists or greedy assholes! The very idea of miracle is false...because miracle means something which breaks the law of nature....that thing cannot happen, and any other thing (even it's sooo good that it's like a miracle) which does not violate laws of nature/interpreted world is just a coincidence...not a miracle.

            Now if their was some god who was responsible for creating our world(as interpreted by our brain)...then he has to be the biggest bastard alive in the universe...the cruelest of the cruel...because of the nature of laws that he would have made. Like our identity is totally dependent on others/society (all those who say that are independent nd people don't affect them are just smoking weed...utter crap)...be it our confidence(which is directly proportional to the positive feedback we are getting from others for our certain traits), survival(very obvious....for something as simple as meeting our daily requirement of food....if we were to do everything by ourself...like plant a tree, plough a field, kill an animal, processing, making utensils, cooking ...we would have already starved..or @least would have been soo busy with the stuff that we couldn't find time to progress),progress, sense of happiness and fulfillment( in absence of people their would have been no relationships)....even our birth. Now because of this(that our life is effected\dependent by\on others) their is a lot of evil in this world. For example if a parent is abusive to the child....he/she will not enjoy a normal life, and will most likely will either inflict pain to others on to them self, similarly if their are two people\nations and one is peaceful while other is power savvy and cruel....the peaceful person\nation have to become cruel for it's own survival or it will remain a victim of the other person\nation throughout it's life  nd live a painful life. People say that their is no true love left in the world....how can love survive in the presence of selfishness/cruelty ??  So we were destined to make a society where everyone of us watches other...sort of policing, and affect each other's life. Than there is another cruel law...law of scarcity....it's the scarcity which drives people....if a office guard is given lot of money , he would rather spend his life in an air conditioned room rather than under summer sun sweating ...scarcity can be of money, power, name, fame....in short we were  designed(or our mind interpret our life) in such a way that nothing can truly satisfy us...this ultimately leads to greed and greed to torture and cruelty. Then the law of duality....without sadness we cannot appreciate happiness, a villain is needed before a hero can be born....and all the stupid beliefs people have come up with....I specially hate these: "no gain without pain", "work hard" or "work hard, party harder". FUCK YOU!!.....people steal the childhood of their children by imposing their dreams (mostly which they couldn't achieve) on them.....children are labeled worthy or worthless on the basis of their school performance, job performance, family performance...both by their parents, their teachers, their peers, the whole fucking society...and these children ...when they grow up...they make sure that they pass all this crap to their children.

        It always amuses me when I watch people playing the scripts given to them by the society. We have defined roles/positions in our society(like manager, clerk, ceo, president, geek, super rich,king,poor,jobless,failure etc.) and each of these positions have certain behavioral traits which it imposes on the individual playing that role. For example their is this super dumb guy in my office....I have been watching him for past 2 years...though he is super dumb but he is super inclined in office politics and hard work(yeah....he works for 21 hrs. sometimes, is 29 nd already have some lungs problems...all those blood coming to mouth nd stuff...no use of telling him to rest as nothing goes inside his head, and the advisor becomes his enemy who is trying to distract him from his road to become a CEO someday). So anyways...this guy is not confident @ all, feels threatened very easily and can be negative ...he has been working for past 4 years without any promotion. This year he got one (i was happy for him) and instantly his personality changed...i mean his body language (uses a more assertive body language...chest forward, head up, hands in pockets, no hand blocks or cross legs, tone nd the way he talks, dressing sense, eye contact, length of strides and higher pace of walking etc.) , his sense of self worth, his attitude....heheheheheee....but he still remains super dumb and insecure frm inside. This sudden change made me notice this event....nd on closely watching...he hasn’t changed a bit....he is just acting in a way a guy in that new position is supposed to be acting....and so is everyone else who interacts with him now....after that I made a habit to watch everyone when they get a new social responsibility(like relatives or @ home) or get a promotion or in short where their is any "role change".....nd their is a striking similarity in everyone's life(or shall I call the script they r living)...each one of us behave according to the way they r supposed to behave in their new role...nd if they don't(I experimented that on myself by consciously not doing what I was supposed to do)..other retaliate or give their big NOOOOO in their silent body language actions/behaviors....u change urself according to the role and everyone is happy again....gosh....I felt like all of us are robots...but sadly that's the way we are....just PATHETIC!!

    There are soooooo many flaws in the human life(the one interpreted by our brain) that no god with genuine love in his heart would have made us. It more likely seems to be a way to control our original consciousness which we have forgotten in our animated life.....there are many books I have read that do show that we are cut out from our original consciousness....that instead of god being a single entity...god is a like a grid of consciousness ....with the nodes being each one of us. Quite similar to the holotropic nature of universe/consciousness. So in this grid resides consciousness of all living forms...humans,animals,plants etc.....just the level of consciousness is different. To cut a long story short watch the video of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor...as she says...there is a right part of our brain which is not programmed...which is vast...limitless...free from all control. The left part(which we identify all our life and live the life as shown by it) is the evil inside us...that cuts us from our original nature(read echkart tolle's "power of now"....their he refers to it as an ego) of our consciousness. It's true that in absence of the left part...we will die(just like Jill can't do the most basic tasks of her life like dialing a telephone number or reading or speaking)...but will that be our real death...NO...that will be the death of the individual our left part has created for us...that will be the death of the illusionary character(which we presently identify as us) we live every day of our life....and to me that's the purpose of life...to die before ur physical death!

On a certain day in the blue-moon month of September
Beneath a young plum tree, quietly
I held her there, my quiet, pale beloved
In my arms just like a graceful dream.
And over us in the beautiful summer sky
There was a cloud on which my gaze rested
It was very white and so immensely high
And when I looked up, it had disappeared.


Since that day many, many months
Have quietly floated down and past.
No doubt the plum trees were chopped down
And you ask me: what's happened to my love?
So I answer you: I can't remember.
And still, of course, I know what you mean
But I honestly can't recollect her face
I just know: there was a time I kissed it.


And that kiss too I would have long forgotten
Had not the cloud been present there
That I still know and always will remember
It was so white and came from on high.
Perhaps those plum trees still bloom
And that woman now may have had her seventh child
But that cloud blossomed just a few minutes
And when I looked up, it had disappeared in the wind.

-Bertolt Brecht

I still remember when I read "power of now" for the first time in the summer of 2005...I never felt that kind of transformed(or better ...feeling "high") by any other book ever in my life(not even by other books by Eckhart tolle, astavakra gita,edgar cayce's readings or even by "Many Lives, Many Masters")...that feeling was so fresh and stimulating...as if u can fuck around with any one because in ur awareness all the world(and it's "egoistic" people) looses it's importance...lol...since then I have gifted that book to dozens of my friends/relatives...thought of pasting few quotes from that masterpiece :)

Change

As far as inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.

Ego

The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, person and family history, belief systems, and often also political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications. None of these is you.The dictum of the ego is "Seek but do not find." People look to the future for salvation, but the future never arrives.So ultimately, suffering arises through not finding. And that is the beginning of an awakening—when the realization dawns that "Perhaps this is not the way".

Fear

The psychological condition of fear is divorced from any concrete and true immediate danger. It comes in many forms: unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, phobia, and so on. This kind of psychological fear is always of something that might happen, not of something that is happening now.

Life

  What you refer to as your “life” should more accurately be called your “life situation.” It is psychological time: past and future. Certain things in the past didn’t go the way you wanted them to go. You are still resisting what happened in the past and now you are resisting what is. Hope is what keeps you going, but hope keeps you focused on the future, and this continued focus perpetuates your denial of the NOW and therefore your unhappiness.

Forget about your life situation for awhile and pay attention to your life. Your life situation exists in time. Your life is NOW. Your life situation is Mind-Stuff. Your life is REAL. 

Negativity

All inner resistance is experienced as negativity in one form or another. All negativity is resistance. In this context, the two words are almost synonymous.

Negativity ranges from irritation or impatience to fierce anger, from a depressed mood or sullen resentment to suicidal despair. Sometimes the resistance triggers the emotional pain body…The ego believes that through negativity it can manipulate reality and get what it wants.... The fact is, of course, that negativity does not work. Instead of attracting a desirable condition, it stops it from arising. Instead of dissolving an undesirable one, it keeps it in place.

Once you have identified with some form of negativity, you do not want to let it go, and on a deeply unconscious level, you do not want positive change. It would threaten your identity as a depressed, angry or hard-done-by person. You will then ignore, deny or sabotage the positive in your life. This is a common phenomenon. It is also insane.

Pain

Nobody’s life is entirely free of pain and sorrow. Isn’t it a question of learning to live with them rather than trying to avoid them?

The greater part of human pain is unnecessary. It is self-created as long as the unobserved mind runs your life.

The pain that you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is. On the level of thought, the resistance is some form of judgment. On the emotional level, it is some form of negativity. The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment, and this in turn depends on how strongly you are identified with your mind.

Present

You can always cope with the present moment, but you cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection – you cannot cope with the future or recreate the past.

Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.

Spirituality

You must have failed deeply on some level or experienced some deep loss or pain to be drawn to the spiritual dimension. Or perhaps your very success became empty and meaningless and so turned out to be a failure.

Transcending the world does not mean to withdraw from the world, to no longer take action, or to stop interacting with people. Transcendence of the world is to act and to interact without any self-seeking. In other words, it means to act without seeking to enhance one's sense of self through one's actions or one's interactions with people. Ultimately, it means not needing the future anymore for one's fulfillment or for one's sense of self or being. There is no seeking through doing, seeking an enhanced, more fulfilled, or greater sense of self in the world. When that seeking isn't there anymore, then you can be in the world but not be of the world. You are no longer seeking for anything to identify with out there.

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 All the things that truly matter — beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace — arise from beyond the mind

 Love, joy, and peace cannot flourish until you have freed yourself from mind dominance

 Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within

 Pain is inevitable as long as you are identified with your mind

 An emotion is the body's reaction to your mind

 Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. True power if within, and it is available to you now

 Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" — and find that there is no  death.

 When you are present, you can allow the mind to be as it is without getting entangled in it. The mind in itself is a   wonderful tool. Dysfunction sets in when you seek your self in it and mistake it for who you are.

 To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and   anticipation.

 Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be.

 Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the  Now.

 To be free of time is to be free of the psychological need of past for your identity and future for your fulfillment.

 Be at least as interested in what goes on inside you as what happens outside. If you get the inside right, the outside will   fall into place.

 Words in themselves are not important. They are not the Truth; they only point to it.

 Don't get stuck on the level of words. A word is no more than a means to an end. It's an abstraction. Not unlike a signpost,  it points beyond itself.

 At the deepest level of Being, you are one with all that is.

 The ultimate purpose of the world lies not within the world but in the transcendence of the world.

 You find God the moment you realize that you don't need to seek God.

 Relationships do not cause pain and unhappiness. They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you.

 Whenever anything negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it, although you may not see it at the    time.

 Nothing out there will ever satisfy you except temporarily and superficially, but you may need to experience many   disappointments before you realize that truth.