lol ok guys i cant think of one off the top of my head but thow some awsome ones out here

Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.
Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.
(They all drink.)
Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.
(Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)
Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.
(Only Quagmire drinks.)
****About 33 drinks later****
Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.
Quagmire: Oh God.
(Quagmire takes a drink.)
Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.
Quagmire: Oh come on!
(Quagmire drinks again.)
Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.
Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)

Stewie: Damn you icecream, come to my mouth........DON'T DISOBEY ME!

STEWIE: Damn u vile WOMAN!!!!!!

BRIAN: Hey peter, its 7.30 and u still have ur pants on! wats the occasion?

Mr Weed (peters boss): Peter r u sleepin on the job?
Peter: ah what? what? nah theres a bug in my eye and im tryin to suffocate it.

Peter: Why did the dinosaurs die out?

Tour guide in museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

Made me cry I laughed so hard.

"I'd say 'come again' then I'd laugh because I said Cum."

gawd i hav so many faves :P

Oh! Clumsy oaf! Michael Flatley would be turning in his grave! Wait, hes not dead. YET. (writes) Michael Flatley!-Stewie

Handsome? Im repugnant! Im a radio bloody active freak!-Stewie

Oh no, the government is here! Run, E.T, run!-Chris

Merry christmas to all and to all shut the hell up-Peter

What are you looking at! You..you infantile stupid! Yes thats right! You can go burn in hell!-Stewie

STEWIE : I'd love to stay and chat but your a total bitch. [:P]

Damn you vile woman!

Damn you ice cream, come to my mouth! how dare you disobey me!!

I like you, when the world is mine your death shall be quick and painless. :)

The life of the wife is ended by the knife

Stewie rocks man....