okay here is my contribution: 3 single women die and go to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates, St.Peter tells them the rules: enjoy everything, but don't step on the chickens. Dire punishments are in store if you do.
They go in and sure enough, there are chickens everywhere! The first woman is so nervous, she step on a chicken the first day. Immediately St. Peter rushes out with the ugliest man they had ever seen, and handcuffs him to the first woman. "I told you not to step on a chicken, so now you must spend all eternity together." he says,and then he rushes away.
The other two women look at each other, each knowing she could be next. Sure enough, after the first week of being so very careful, the second woman sneezes, and trips over a chicken. Out rushes St.Peter with another extremely ugly man, and handcuffs him to the second woman without a word(just a very stern glance.)Then he rushes away.
The last woman is very scared indeed. She is sooooo careful, she doesn't even pick her feet up to walk. After a year, St. Peter comes out with a very handsome and quite muscular man. He handcuffs him to the last woman without a single word. After he leaves, the woman leans over to the man and says, "What did I ever do to deserve someone like you?" The man thinks a minute and says" I don't know about you..but I stepped on a chicken."