The preast entered his donkey in a race, and it won.
the priest was so pleased, with the donkey, that he entered in amother race and it won again.
the local paper read::
PRIEST'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity, that he ordered the priest, not to enter the donkey in anymore races.
The next day the headlines of the local pa[per read::
BISHOP SVRATCHES THE PRIEST'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the priest to get rid of the donkey.
The priest decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news...posted the following headline::
NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.
the bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey...so she sold it to a farmer for $10
The next day the headlines read::
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.
The next day the headlines read::
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
ALAS.......THE BISHOP WAS BURIED THE NEXT DAY.
MORAL OF THE STORY???????
BEING CONCERNED ABOUT PUBLIC OPINION
CAN BRING YOU MUCH GRIEF AND MISERY
AND EVEN SHORTER LIFE.
SO BE YOURSELF AND ENJOY LIFE.....STOP WORRYING ABOUT EVERYONE ELSES ASS AND YOU'LL LIVE LONGER.

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CAN YOU IMMAGINE YOURSELF TO BE THE NUN THAT IS SITTING AT HER DESK, GRADING THESE PAPERS ALL THE WHILE TRYING
TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE AND MANTAIN HER COMPOSURE.


PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING AND IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLEEVEN A LITTLE, YOU WILL FIND THIS HILARIOUS.IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.
KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENT.THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WQRITTEN BY CHILDREN THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED.
INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.

1. IN THE FIRAT BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSES, GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD, SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONG MAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6.
SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APPOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVEND BREAD WICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8. THE EGYPRIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESERT. AFTERWARDS MOSES WENT UP TO THE MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENT WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE

10. THE SEVEBTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA.THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BARRLE OF GERITOL.

12.THE GREATEST MIRACLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL, AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING
WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR,.HE FOUGHT THE FILKENSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14 SOLOMON , ONE OF DAVID'S SONS HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS , SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANGER.

. 17 CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY GOT ONE SPOESE , THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY

18. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED JESUS WERE CALLED THE TWELVE DECIBELS.

19. THE EPISTLES WERE THE WIVES OF THE APPOSTLES.

20. ST JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

21 ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.



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ROFL!!!!!
What a great post Jessie....and thx so much for early morning laughter.....