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Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind

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Updated by emma at 04/21/2008 15:47

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Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/3/2008 2:22 PM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind.



In her special place she would sit and weep,
Locking away memories she wished not to keep.
For sitting alone to heartbreakingly dwell
Only re-enforced and blessed his twisted spell.

The motion of the sweetest poetry
Transformed into the haunting melody
When spat from his evil, saintly mind;
Where only un-pleasantries you would find.

These sordid regrets, never laid to rest;
Only some other burden of her chest.
Her thoughts: “there never was a better time,
As when I was honoured to call him ‘mine’”

What her eyes do not permit her to see,
Are the very things that would fill her with glee.
As he is a shell of a broken, unfinished ‘man’
To get over him; she wants, she will, she can?

Although she knows it is he who’s to blame,
She refuses adamantly to accept the pain
Of a beaten, bruised and broken heart
And the fact that her world is falling apart.

The characteristics that make her, “she”
Will never fully understand just what
Creates the distinction between “him”, and he.

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Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/3/2008 4:31 PM
Joanne, 18
Malta

an incredibly interesting poem... the ending really leaves you to ponder… the distinction between him and he…hmm what comes to my mind is what the heart sees a person she loved and who know she weeps for and what the mind sees a

'shell of a broken, unfinished ‘man’'

As you so beautifully put it.

Love the rhyming pattern of this poem and it's rhythm.

long time no see btw...btw posted a new poem ships would love your opinion:)

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Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/3/2008 4:53 PM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

Hey joanne :) Glad that you liked it hehe. Well...the last line is meant to be about like. Well you know when people say "him" as in their other half or someone the really love. Like "that's him". I was trying to signify the difference between the "him" who was hers, who she thought she knew...with the person he actually is/has changed into, with the "he". If that makes any sense at all :D lol
Yeah, i'm sorry for being away for a while, i've been through a bit of a block, if you will, the last few weeks...this is the first poem i've wrote in a long time. So hopefully my creativity is flowing again lol :)

Of course, i shall go take a look now :D

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Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/3/2008 5:11 PM
Joanne, 18
Malta

ah yes that makes lot of sense I came to my conclusion due to title...

ah a block am going through one too hehehehe they are horrible aren't they?...ships in fact was like your poem the first one I have written in a while...
I 'd write a poem but would not like it...bleh

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/3/2008 5:49 PM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

:) You like the title again? lol you always like the titles!
Yes they are really horrible and crappy :( I have written prose and attempted many poems, but they just dont seem right and that makes me even more frustrated because im just coming out with crap. But yes, hopefully this'll be the end of the blockage for both of us then lol :D

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a m
4/3/2008 5:53 PM
Joanne, 18
Malta

you know I love your titles
and yes hopefully this is the end of the dreaded writers block for both of us...I do not know how many poems or stories I wrote and did not finish or scrapped because of it...

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and
4/3/2008 6:06 PM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

I know you do..you and Tejas always comment on them lol :)
*crosses fingers* i really do hope so indeed! Yeah the same with me...like i'd had an idea for a poem, or get a few lines stuck in my head...then try to continue it into a poem and fail, miserably.

How's university coming along? :)

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart
4/3/2008 6:31 PM
Joanne, 18
Malta

good good lots of assignments though I finished some in the easter hols but lots still to do...

and you busy much with school...college right?

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a h
4/3/2008 8:35 PM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

It's going ok then? good stuff :)

Yeah college is going ok hun...all is good :) I'm off for Easter hols at the moment too, go back on monday though.

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between
4/4/2008 3:21 PM
Joanne, 18
Malta

I went back this monday well tuesday actually cos last monday was a public holiday freedom day in malta...but I had been on easter holidays form the 17th of march

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes bet
4/4/2008 7:55 PM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

Well i'm glad it's going ok :) And i've been off college for two weeks...go back on tuesday =]

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Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/4/2008 4:52 AM
anu, 107
India

hey there very well ritten
especially the last line nd the nd the 4th para
...........solitude forever me forever you................

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Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/4/2008 11:44 AM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

Hey Anu...thankyou very much and i'm glad you enjoyed it :)

To be fair, i'm happy with all the stanzas, except the second one. But it's alright for now i suppose =] And yeah, the ending was what i was trying to round it all up with...yet still leave it open for thought lol :) thankyooou xx

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Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/4/2008 4:08 PM
yousouf, 22
Mauritius

superb poem! well written and well expressed :) u've got talent emma :) i hope u havent experienced that!

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Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/4/2008 7:59 PM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

Thankyou yousouf :) Glad you liked it and everything. And thanks, i suppose i have some talent, but i'm not brilliant lol
And yeah, i've experienced what this poem's theme is based on...i came out of a two year relationship about a month ago, so yeah. =]

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Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/5/2008 5:15 PM
yousouf, 22
Mauritius

ohh am so sorry to hear abt that :(
i know the pain :(
hope u will recover soon, just let time heal u :)

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/5/2008 9:48 PM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

Yeah it's getting better. I'm much better off without him, but you just cant help missing people, can you? Don't worry about me, i shall be fine, i'm a tuff nut :) lol Thankyou for your kind words =] xx

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a m
4/11/2008 4:46 AM
yousouf, 22
Mauritius

yeah however hard u want to erase sth out of ur mind, u cant :( lets just time make u forget him! hehe tuff nut :)
u are most welcome :)
have a nice day :)

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Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/7/2008 6:13 PM
fadi, 22
Doha
Qatar

what do i say the pen which i am hollding to write wit it stopped writin and all what i wann say i jus lost it by jus reading this peot damn girl ...
god bless ya .. i ll be waitin ur next peot

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Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/7/2008 6:16 PM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

:) Thankyou sweetness! I'm glad you enjoyed it...and specific reason you liked it so much? I'll post new poems as soon as i write them, i promise :P xx

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Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/7/2008 6:51 PM
fadi, 22
Doha
Qatar

once again god bless ya
and u r gifted i suggest ya should try for american idols

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/7/2008 7:12 PM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

American idols? lol! poetry has nothing to so with singing haha. i cant sing to save my life lol :D

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a m
4/7/2008 8:20 PM
fadi, 22
Doha
Qatar

well sing alos is peotry mix wit music
examples alica keys she play panow and sing her own songs
trust me peotry has all the connection wit singin

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Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/8/2008 12:16 PM
aPpLέ. Ҝ, 21Verified Zorpian
Dar es Salaam
Tanzania

Emma
It is very intresting I must say
One can clearly see the picture...
Good good

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Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/9/2008 5:21 PM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

Hey, thankyoooou very much :) Glad you liked this one!

Any particularly favourite parts or extra comments? =] em xx

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Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/20/2008 11:24 AM
Keleigh, 18Royal Zorpian
Glasgow
United Kingdom

I really like this poem Emma.
That final stanza in particular is brilliant, your expression of the importance in slight changes of meaning in words reflects wonderfully the little changes in heart, mind and relationships which can have rather large consequences.
Keep it up!

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Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/20/2008 11:27 AM
Keleigh, 18Royal Zorpian
Glasgow
United Kingdom

Also, was the imperfect iambic pentameter a conscious decision, to represent that broken and caged feeling?

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Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/20/2008 4:59 PM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

Thankyou Keleigh, glad you like it :)

And i'm glad you understand what i trying to get at in the last stanza!
But may i ask what the hell an "imperfect iambic pentameter" is? lol

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Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/21/2008 5:35 AM
Keleigh, 18Royal Zorpian
Glasgow
United Kingdom

Iambic pentameter is when each line is decasyllabic. Or, more plainly, has 10 syllables per line! Like in a sonnet. Shakespeare often used iambic pentameter to write entire plays which is why his work is so impressive. And as sonnets are usually about love and whatnot I thought perhaps you'd used imperfect iambic pentameter (sometimes 11 or 12 syllables per line, not always exactly 10) to show imperfect love.
Slight over analysis it seems?! Still, it works brilliantly to get your message across, even if you did use it by accident!

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Trivial disputes between a heart and a mind
4/21/2008 3:47 PM
emma, 16Verified Zorpian
Hull
United Kingdom

Lol, well seen as i had no idea what the technical name for it was, then yes, i seem to have done it by accident :) I do know what you're on about with Shakespeare's sonnets though =] i'm quite a big fan of him tbh.

Well thanks for the compliment! xx

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